Sunday, May 6, 2012

Waiting and Hoping...

Scott and I became foster parents in January. One week later we had C and H in our home for the weekend. They were two of a group of four siblings. I had so many mixed emotions, "are these our kids forever?", "can I really do this?", and "how can you not love them?". It was a hectic weekend and in the end we had to say no, a painful reality that we could not take on this sibling group. We didn't entirely say no as we felt we could parent H, the sweetest 4 year old girl I have ever met. There was talk of splitting the siblings up but after a week of back and forth, it seemed hopeless.

They went back to their foster home and I prayed that it wasn't the last time I saw them. About a month later, I found them on a website as a sibling group of four. My heart sank, thinking this was surely a sign that it wasn't meant to be. Just a couple of weeks later, I found H on another website, all by herself. The sibling split had occurred but they had forgotten about us. Frantically, I made tons of phone calls and finally got ahold of an adoption specialist at the agency that has H. A tear filled conversation followed and again my hopes of H were gone. It seemed they had already identified families for her. This lady did tell me she would speak to her supervisor about our home and get back to me.

It seemed like forever and I had lost hope again, but she got back to me saying they would consider our family for H. Oh, I was so happy! Come to find out we didn't have an adoption home study, which is different than a foster care homestudy, from our agency and our agency wasn't sure how to get one. Another closed door. Then the agency came back saying they would accept our summary from our foster care homestudy.

A couple of months have passed and again, I didn't hear anything. I had pretty much given up hope. I knew it was long shot but I wanted her so badly. Finally, I heard that we were one of 3 families chosen to be considered at something they call a best interest staffing. I couldn't believe it! We are now doing the paperwork shuffle and hoping that we are chosen.

We find out by June 1st. I couldn't be more nervous but I know that my God has plans for us. We were taken on this journey for a reason and perhaps it isn't a reason we will be able to readily identify but I know this is part of His great plan.

So here we are, praying, waiting, and hoping it's us but ultimately hoping that the best family for H is chosen, even if it isn't us.

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